Dear Chad
by almostlover-hopelessdream
Summary: So Random's letters to Chad, blaming him for 'breaking' Sonny. Now a multi-chapter. Rated T for language and morbid themes. I don't own SWAC.
1. Tawni

**I thought I'd explore Tawni's caring side. It's a bit morbid but I thought I'd do something different because people do death stories and write how it affect Sonny or Chad. But if we saw Tawni's side and saw how she blamed over people & felt guilt, it'd be different. Maybe it's just me. Anyway enjoy!**

...And, finally, Miss Sunshine Munroe crumpled.

She _broke._

And do you want to know why?

You.

You did this, you inflicted so much pain on SONNY, that she gave up.

She GAVE UP.

Do you hear me?

She was my best FUCKING friend!

She was only a china doll, Chad.

A fragile, innocent, never been touched, on the shelf, china doll.

I dressed her up all pretty for you, to go on display.

While you slowly ate away at her insides, leaving her empty.

_Hollow._

Sonny Munroe wasn't so sunny anymore.

And I hate you! But I hate me more! Because neither of us saw it!

She put on that smile, the smile we should've seen through, for _weeks!_

She was friendless for weeks.

Because I didn't know!

I was wrong. She was a much better actress then any of us give her credit for!

I was wrong, you were wrong. We were all wrong.

And she never knew how much I cared.

Because right now, chad dylan cooper, I am sitting on my bed, staring at the _letter _she left for me.

Because that's all I have left.

That's all _ANY_ of us have left.

_"He hurt me so much. I can't do it anymore. You're my best friend. I love you."_

Those were her last words to me.

Do you understand now?

Do you GET that you _murdered _her?

You ruined her life. You ruined my life. You ruined our casts lives. You ruined her fans lives..

But most importantly, you ruined your life.

How does it feel Cooper?

1, 2, 5, too many to count lives.

And you're solely responsible.

Her grave reads:

Sonny Munroe  
Friend to all. Bought the sun to people who thought they'd never see light again.  
She'll always be a star. Just look up.

You did that.

Before she was a star on the screen. She bought the light with her presence.

Now she's a star in the sky, shining the brightest.

Glittering away, the tallest star in the sky.

And do you know the _sickest _thing?

The thing that makes me so angry at you, I wish it were YOU up there?

She STILL loves you!

She loved you as she jumped off the bridge!

She loved you as death took her.

And she loves you as she watches over you now.

She loved me too.

But not enough to keep her living.

No.

Because YOU tore at her heart so much.

There was no point.

Chad Dylan Cooper.

Welcome to the rest of your life.

**I'm a bit iffy with that ending. But ah well. Review? (:**


	2. Nico

**Okay. So people have told me to carry this on and I've been told some pretty good idea's so I'm going to try and merge them together. So I'm going to write 5 letters to Chad, 1 from each of the cast of So Random, leaving Sonny's letter to last, then in the 6th chapter I'm going to write from Chad's POV as he looks at the letters. I need your views please, is this a good idea? A quick thankyou to everyone who reviewed! I am seriously honoured. Okay enough from me...  
**

Chad. Dylan. Cooper.

I'd always hated that name you know?

I've always hated you.

And now, due to recent _horrific _events, it's just been confirmed to everyone.

We all hate you.

I'd been trying to tell them all along.

That you weren't good enough for her.

I tried to _protect _her.

Because she was practically my sister.

And I loved her.

How sickeningly ironic was it that she loved you too?

You're all too blame.

The world lost one of it's most valuable people.

Why are you still here?

And I don't know what to do about the others.

They just sit there, staring.

Tawni, she hasn't looked in a mirror for two weeks, and it's not like the last time. She doesn't even put makeup on anymore.

Zora, she's so pale and she just lies on the sofa with a constant stream of tears down her face.

And Grady, he doesn't eat. _Anything._ I can't get him to even look at food or water.

If you're the cause of another death. 'CDC' I will _kill _you.

I'm the eldest, I'm supposed to be the strongest but I don't know how.

And yes, I'm not afraid to admit, I'm scared.

Scared we'll slowly forget Sonny. Scared the show will get cancelled - you'd love that wouldn't you?

Scared I won't be able to look after anyone.

I honestly can't believe you.

You break girls hearts all the time.

But we all thought you'd have some decency with Sonny's heart.

She was fragile and weak.

And _innocent._

Do you even fucking CARE!

Just another girl right?

Just another heartbreak?

But now it's more than that.

You broke the world's heart.

You were America's Bad Boy for a reason, I guess.

If only I'd tried harder.

To get her away from you.

Oh my God, it's all my fault.

I _knew _all about you!

I should've forbidden her to stop seeing you.

I should've tied her to a chair and never let you see her.

I should've killed you first.

Chad Dylan Cooper.

You better watch out.

**I apologise for the anger and death threats but when people are in grieving they turn the blame on others, get angry just to make themselves feel just a little bit better. Remember he lost one of his closest friends, you'd be angry at Chad too. So this is shorter than the other one and not as good but reviews would be appriecated :D**


	3. Zora

**Hello! Sorry for the longish wait! I went camping for a week with my friends and was unable to get internet access and then as soon as I came back, writers block hit me! Damn that! Okay so here's what I finally came up with for Zora. I'd like to think there's more to Zora than the SWAC lets us see. I think she's a lot more deep that she gets credit for. So please enjoy and review! Thank you for all the reviewers so far! Wow! I love you all! Anyway, enough of me! Read!**

I can't believe you took her away from me.

Sonny, _sonshine, _Munroe.

You just let her fade from the Earth as if she were an annoying bug, not worth your time.

Are you happy now, Chad?

Happy you _finally _ruined So Random?

Suprising as it may seem, she is not the first to be ripped away from me.

Despite that fact I am only 12.

3 people I desperately loved was taken away cruelly by an unforgiving world.

When I was 8 my grandfather died from his long battle with cancer.

When I was 9 my grandmother died from unknown causes - I'd always suspected it was from a broken heart.

After all, a heart can only take so much pain before it breaks. Sonny was another example of that.

And, finally, when I was 10 my older sister committed suicide.

She was 15 at the time, the same age as Sonny.

How much Sonny reminded me of her was astonishing.

That's why I attached myself to Sonny so much.

Finally, the hole in my heart would almost start healing when Sonny was around.

And she _cared _the only person since the deaths that someone did.

She looked out for me, bought me lunch when I wasn't in the cafeteria, sat with me when I didn't feel like talking.

And, here's the kicker Cooper, my sister killed herself because of a broken heart.

I'd only met the guy once; he was conceited, a jerk to everyone and a player. Sound familiar?

That's why I fought for her. To keep her pure.

Yet I didn't fight hard enough. And I lost another sister.

I don't know how much more deaths I can handle and pretend to fight through.

Why did you do it?

Did it bring you happiness?

If it did, you're sick, disgusting. Inhuman.

I know what you think of me, Chad.

'The Weird Kid'

But did you ever leave your self-absorbed bubble for just one minute to think about the real me?

Did you ever think I went over the top to stop the pain from showing?

Did you ever think that I had feelings too?

Of course to you I'm not a 'real' actor. But I bring joy and laughter to my viewers and that makes me feel the tiniest bit better.

It reminds me that even though I fall into a black pit of despair, happiness still exists in the world.

Well it did until Sonny left it.

Now I know for certain, you are the Devil itself.

Only the most selfish, uncaring, _evil _thing in the whole world would kill the most amazing person in the world.

She bought happiness where ever she went. She _was _happiness.

No one knows what to do now.

It's still so surreal to me.

I can't believe her of all people did this.

I thought I was a master of disguise, hiding my pain.

But she was so much better at it than me.

I should've seen, my own trick being played in front of my eyes, I could've stopped it!

Oh God!

I hate you.

Chad Dylan Cooper.

Thank you for ruining my life.

**This kind of broke my heart writing it. But here we go. What did you think?**


	4. Grady

**Heyyy guys :D how's it going? Well here's Grady's letter, the one before Sonny's letter! :D So some of you may be shocked by what Grady has to say, but I wanted to give the story a little twist. I hope you like it please review! :D Pretty please?**

I would like you to know that I am not a hateful person.

I have not, nor will I ever, feel hatred towards another human being.

However, the feeling coursing through me at this very moment is very close.

I dislike you with a passion.

Before, I just didn't like you in the petty, childish way.

I didn't like you because you didn't like me.

Now it's because you've taken away the only girl I will ever love.

Shocked? I'd be suprised if you weren't.

Yes, I, Grady Michtell loved - loves - Sonny Munroe.

And I never got the chance to tell her.

Maybe, if I'd got there first, put myself in the competition for her heart, maybe she would've chosen me.

Instead, I kept quiet, keeping my real thoughts hidden by food, narnia and pandora.

I played the stupid act.

I thought I wouldn't flirt with her like you did, she always fought back, I seriously thought she didn't like you.

Turns out she was flirting too.

And when you messed everything up, I was getting ready to tell her myself, that I'd fallen in love with her.

But by then it was too late.

My letter arrived in the post the next day, as did Tawni's, Nico's, Zora's and your's.

And then I knew there would not have been any point in telling her anyway.

Every word, though it was only written in her elegant script, screamed out adoration for you.

I loved her but I was only her best friend.

If only I'd made my move straight away, as soon as she got here.

Maybe, I could've saved her from falling so hard for you.

Maybe, I could've shown her a different way to love.

Probably not deep, emotional love like yours but more of a light, superficial best-friends-as-well-as-lovers love.

And when I saw you two together, it broke my heart, but I fought through it.

I tried to subtly break you up.

Like when she didn't show up for your week-a-versary, I almost had you convinced she stood you up and didn't actually like you.

I was so close.

I thought I'd give anything to see you two apart, I guess I was wrong.

Anything is better than _this, _this... emptiness.

As I've pointed out before "we've become just like the solar system itself, a perfectly balanced interconnected group of bodies bound by gravity to the Sun!"

Or the Sonny, as Nico pointed out, now that the Sun has gone, I don't see how any of us are going to live anymore.

The Sun makes people happy, feel warm inside. It helps stuff to grow. Without it the world will die.

I would've been perfect for her and you know it.

I thought you liked her, I thought she was different to all the other girls, that's why I didn't fight so hard.

She was happy with you.

Then you went and screwed it all up.

And broke her heart.

I never wanted that. I never wanted to see her as... _lost _as she was without you.

She didn't know what to do, so she did the only thing she thought she had left. The very last option.

And I loved her, I wouldn't have broken her. Me and her, we'd still be together if you hadn't have shown up.

What if I had got to her sooner?

What if she had never caught you?

Because now, the only things I have left are the 'what if's

What if she hadn't have died.

She still loves you, how can that be so? How can it be that you hurt her beyond repair yet I never got the chance.

Life hurts like that - she knew that better than most people.

The people we love most can rip out our heart.

And she let you.

Chad Dylan Cooper.

You've ruined the world.

**Soooo Grady loves Sonny! It was either him or Nico and I like the idea of Nico being the 'protecter' of the group so it was Grady who had to love her! Please review :D**


	5. Sonny

**ANNNDD... here's Sonny's letter. Thanks for the long wait! But here's a problem... it's not to good. I wanted to get it out there asap and I know you've waited long enough. So I'm so sorry. It's quite short. Oh God, i'm sorry.**

Dear Chad.

By the time you have read this letter, I will be gone from the world. I plan to do it quick, I don't expect some rescue mission and I don't want some melodramatic movie scene when you come and sweep me off my feet. Because this isn't the movies, it's real life with real pain and real heartbreak.

You broke my heart, Chad. And I honestly don't think that there is ever any way possible of rebuilding it.

After the... break up. After it, I was a ghost in a world full of non-believers, I was a boat in the dark passing by. It was as if my life didn't mean anything, as if my body was a vehicle and the driver had set it to auto-drive. I moved among the people with a plastic smile painted upon my face - even to me, I could see the grimace in the way my lips curved over face. I functioned myself to interact, ask questions instead of just answering them. And it worked, no one saw the tears behind my eyes and the scream behind my mouth. I will not kill myself tonight, I will only be throwing away the cage I am stuck in, for I was killed when I saw you and her. I was already gone.

And that image, that heart-shattering image, is the last thing I see when I fall into a broken sleep. It's the only thing that is imprinted on my mind constantly. And it is the image that will be with me when I do it. When I finally end it all. When I finally have a peaceful sleep with total blackness, it'll be over. Finally.

How stupid was it that I actually thought you loved me? But when I saw you and her together, in the bed that I'd made just that morning, I realised it had all just been a ploy, a game. I guess, I should've known, I wouldn't have been the one to change you, I can't believe I fell for the same damn trick I'd always criticised. Why did I think you loved me? I just another girl.

I didn't feel my heart break; I felt it get ripped out my chest, thrown to the ground, shattered upon impact and shoved back into my crushed ribs.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I didn't sleep with you, I'm sorry I wasn't ready, I'm sorry I wanted to wait until I was 18. I'm sorry I led you to grabbing a shag from the bike of the studio. I'm sorry I walked in on you. I'm sorry Portlyn left you after.

There's so much I need to say, and so little hours in the day.

I want you to know, I want you to always remember: I love you. It's a far-fetched wish I guess, I know you won't remember me. I was just another girl in a line of thousands. I have to give it to you, Chad, you're a good actor when I was screaming and crying and leaving. You made me almost believe you wanted me back, but then hours turned into days which turned into weeks. And you didn't care, you walked about the hallways passing me in a distracted way, ghosting beside me, not even seeing me.

That was when I made the decision.

I let myself fall for you completely, I was totally in love with you, I fell for your charm and your way of words. I understand now, they were just words from scripts.

I love you, I will always love you.

I'm scared, Chad. I don't know what there is in the afterlife, but I've decided anything is better than seeing your uncaring face all day. If there is a God, like Tawni so strongly believes, I'll watch over you, though you don't want me to. And when your time comes, so long into the future, I'll be there to watch your pass between the two lives.

And if there is nothing after, something I fear so much, well then I guess, it was nice knowing you. You defiantly made my life interesting. And I loved it.

I loved it all. I loved the fights, the kissing, the late-night movies, the laughing, the crying. It's been the best time of my life, that's why I want to end it. I want to end it on the best years of my life.

I'm not going to cry, Chad. Because I still love you, so goodbye. For now,

I'll see you in Hell.

Chad Dylan Cooper,

I love you, forever and always. Yours for eternity,

Sonny.

**Bad? :( I know, review just tell me.**


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